Taking Children to a Funeral

2 thoughts on “Taking Children to a Funeral”

  1. Thanks for sharing this. It is a hard decision- and when my brother passed away in a tragic car accident, it was difficult to defend our decision not to allow our boys, 4 and 2 as to why they didn’t attend. I know that people would have like to have seen them, but I think we were glad that we chose for them to remember Uncle Robert just the way he was the last time they saw him on vacation when he was here with us. I think later after the fact, people understood and were ok with it.

  2. It does really depend on the child, the relationship and how it is presented. When I was 5, my parents took me to a great -aunt’s funeral that I had never met so that I could experience what a funeral was like with out being emotionally involved. I so value that experience because I was able to understand when my grandparents and other relatives passed what to expect and wasn’t upset by the casket/burial. We have prepared my oldest son similarly about the same age. Now 7, he is going to go to my grandfather’s funeral Saturday whom he loved dearly. My daughter, age 5 has not been to a funeral old enough to remember so we described what it would be like and gave her the choice. She is choosing to go with us. Like the expert above – it will be their choice if they want to go up to the casket or not. Also My family will want to see the kids and it can provide comic relief at times.

    It is important to have a back up plan – which we do – in that my husband is prepared to take any of our children –including our toddler out of the room if they are disruptive or too upset. And I need to remember some coloring items to keep them busy at the luncheon.:)

    I will say that we only plan to take them to the last viewing/chapel service/burial – not to sit for the hours the day before during the calling times. They don’t need to be there for it and they just started school today so I dont want the to miss the second day. They would be bored for the 4 hours and in between times. The service will help them say good-bye keep their attention.

    We definitely feel it is an important part of life – this is our culture, our faith and our family in how we say good by and speaking from personal experience – introducing it in a positive way as a young child was really helpful for me to be less affected by funerals through out my life.

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