When children are young Model apologies – Young children learn best through modeling. When you are in the wrong about things, apologize to them and others easily. If they see and hear you being comfortable with apologies, they are more likely to follow suit. Suggest and encourage apologies – I have read that others suggest … Continue reading Ways to Teach Apologies and Avoid Forcing Them
It’s one thing to know positive discipline. It’s a whole other thing to apply this language consistently when there are siblings involved. With school letting out, families are likely to be spending more time together. Here are a few discipline rules between siblings to help for a smooth summer: Discipline individually – If you are … Continue reading Discipline Rules Between Siblings
In my workshops, I teach the steps of positive discipline. This language includes the flexible use of I messages, empathy, positive intent, choices and consequences to best manage behaviors. This framework is meant to guide parents through addressing emotions while curbing behaviors. If you want to learn more about these steps, you can search “steps” or “discipline” on … Continue reading Ways to Avoid Discipline with Your Children
This seems like a small tip, but it can have a big impact. So often when I hear parents correcting their child’s unpleasant tone, they say, “stop whining,” or, “no whining,” or, “I can’t hear that whiney voice!” If anything, this reminds the child to whine. The golden rule here is, ‘what you focus on, … Continue reading Whining? Focus on the Positive
Children can easily feel overwhelmed by other people’s emotional displays. This is especially the case if they feel responsible for the other’s negative emotions. This is often the set-up in a parent-child discipline exchange. Child misbehaves, parent feels angry, child feels responsible for parent’s anger. When children feel overwhelmed by other’s emotions, a natural defense mechanism is to … Continue reading Do Your Children Get Silly When You Are Angry?
Teaching children to be kind to others is part of teaching them about managing emotions and social interactions, and part of teaching them about a bigger sense of empathy. Children choosing to act with kindness towards others leads to fewer conflicts and better relationships. I posted these ideas on a D.C. Urban Moms forum post … Continue reading Encouraging Children to be Kind
Dear Dr. Rene, I am the mother of twin (Boy and Girl) 20-month-olds. Since about the age of eight months, changing diapers and clothes has been very difficult. Both children move about during this process, which is normal, but they really scream and fight, and they are really strong, and I have a really difficult … Continue reading Difficult Diaper Changes?
Between siblings: Fair is not equal, fair is everyone has their needs met. It is okay for your discipline to be different for your three-year-old and your six-year-old for the same behavior. You might have a different expectation for your daughter and your son around a particular behavior. You might have to coach one child more … Continue reading Between Siblings: Fair Is Not Equal
I have always loved eating out with the kids. Yes, there have been stressful times as Alicen threw up a LOT when she was two and three years old. And yes, occasionally we’ve had to cut things short over behavior or exhaustion. That said, eating out can be a very pleasant experience with children at … Continue reading Tips to Enjoy Eating Out with Children
Dear Dr. Rene, My daughter -who is three years old- has displayed a strong character since her first months. Now we are in the ‘no’ phase, anything whatsoever gets the ‘no’ response even if a few minutes later she decides to do/say what I’ve asked of her. How do I get her to become more cooperative, without … Continue reading The “No” Phase
Parenting by Dr. Rene 