In my workshops, I teach the steps of positive discipline. This language includes the flexible use of I messages, empathy, positive intent, choices and consequences to best manage behaviors. This framework is meant to guide parents through addressing emotions while curbing behaviors. If you want to learn more about these steps, you can search “steps” or “discipline” on … Continue reading Ways to Avoid Discipline with Your Children
In my Positive Discipline workshop series, we spend three hours on the steps of positive discipline. This language provides a framework for effectively working through a discipline exchange from managing emotions with I messages and empathy to using choices and consequences. I have written about the steps and given examples of each in several previous … Continue reading Guidelines for Using the Steps of Discipline
Natural and logical consequences are meant to be the end of a discipline exchange. In the moment and over time, they are meant to curb behaviors. It is important to note consequences are very rarely meant to be a starting point in the discipline process. There are so many other better places to start. You … Continue reading Natural vs. Logical Consequences
Four-year-old Johnny and Eric are building together. Eric moves one of Johnny’s blocks when Johny had it in the perfect place, and Johnney gets mad. Johnny yells, “no!” and hits Eric. This is a common scenario that plays out on playdates, between siblings and in preschools every day. As a parent or teacher, it can … Continue reading What to Do When a Child is Aggressive
The steps of positive discipline are designed to give parents a framework for moving through a discipline exchange. The idea is to learn each and be flexible in the moment. I messages label your or another person’s emotions and explains why you are feeling this way. This avoids you messages which blame the child. Rather, blame … Continue reading Steps of Positive Discipline Defined
Dear Dr. Rene, My daughter -who is three years old- has displayed a strong character since her first months. Now we are in the ‘no’ phase, anything whatsoever gets the ‘no’ response even if a few minutes later she decides to do/say what I’ve asked of her. How do I get her to become more cooperative, without … Continue reading The “No” Phase
There is a golden rule in discipline when you are parenting as a couple. It is simple, whoever starts it gets to finish. This means if the first parent is into a discipline exchange, as long as it’s not abusive, the second parent avoids intervening, correcting the first, rescuing the child, taking over or undermining in any way. … Continue reading In Discipline: Whoever Starts It Gets to Finish
Dear Dr. Rene, My son, who is almost three and is quite verbal, just told us that his daycare provider hit him. It sounds as though she hit him during nap time when he was “moving around too much.” He said it hurt him, and he didn’t like her. The comment was unprovoked, and came … Continue reading Child Says Caregiver Hit Him
Calm Parenting is a hot topic these days. My Calm Parenting workshops have quickly become as popular as my Positive Discipline classes. In both sessions, and in many other, unrelated classes parents report losing their cool often. They say they would like to provide a calm household, but find themselves yelling more than they’d like. This week’s posts … Continue reading Calm Parenting – Know Your Triggers
The steps of Positive Discipline are not something I’ve created, these steps have been around for years. Originally written in 1965, Dr. Haim Ginott introduced a version of these steps in Between Parent and Child. Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, or STEP classes, desiged by Dinkmeyer and McKay have been in session since 1976. These … Continue reading The Steps of Positive Discipline
Parenting by Dr. Rene 