Charting behaviors like tantrums or aggression is often done by teachers in the classroom, so they can quickly gain a better understanding of what is happening. It is something parents can easily do at home. Charting means keeping detailed and consistent notes about the behavior. If a child were tantruming often in my classroom or … Continue reading How Charting Behaviors Helps: Tantrums and Aggression
In my workshops, I teach the steps of positive discipline. This language includes the flexible use of I messages, empathy, positive intent, choices and consequences to best manage behaviors. This framework is meant to guide parents through addressing emotions while curbing behaviors. If you want to learn more about these steps, you can search “steps” or “discipline” on … Continue reading Ways to Avoid Discipline with Your Children
Natural and logical consequences are meant to be the end of a discipline exchange. In the moment and over time, they are meant to curb behaviors. It is important to note consequences are very rarely meant to be a starting point in the discipline process. There are so many other better places to start. You … Continue reading Natural vs. Logical Consequences
The steps of positive discipline are designed to give parents a framework for moving through a discipline exchange. The idea is to learn each and be flexible in the moment. I messages label your or another person’s emotions and explains why you are feeling this way. This avoids you messages which blame the child. Rather, blame … Continue reading Steps of Positive Discipline Defined
There is a golden rule in discipline when you are parenting as a couple. It is simple, whoever starts it gets to finish. This means if the first parent is into a discipline exchange, as long as it’s not abusive, the second parent avoids intervening, correcting the first, rescuing the child, taking over or undermining in any way. … Continue reading In Discipline: Whoever Starts It Gets to Finish
I apologize, to cover intermittent reinforcement, we are going to stop discussing children, and we are going to start discussing lab rats. We’ll come back to children at the end of this post. Intermittent reinforcement is the strongest pattern of reinforcement there is. Let’s compare lab rat A and lab rat B. They are living … Continue reading How Intermittent Reinforcement Makes Parenting Harder
Thanksgiving day without children can be hectic between travel time, visiting family, cooking and cleaning. Add a seven, four and two-year-old to the mix, and it can feel overwhelming. Here are a few ideas to help with the day: Do what you can ahead – This may be baking desserts, making and freezing side dishes … Continue reading Thanksgiving Day Parenting Tips
Dear Dr. Rene, My son, who is almost three and is quite verbal, just told us that his daycare provider hit him. It sounds as though she hit him during nap time when he was “moving around too much.” He said it hurt him, and he didn’t like her. The comment was unprovoked, and came … Continue reading Child Says Caregiver Hit Him
The steps of Positive Discipline are not something I’ve created, these steps have been around for years. Originally written in 1965, Dr. Haim Ginott introduced a version of these steps in Between Parent and Child. Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, or STEP classes, desiged by Dinkmeyer and McKay have been in session since 1976. These … Continue reading The Steps of Positive Discipline
When offering choices in discipline, the goal is to offer two positive choices for the child that both meet your goal in parenting. These choices can focus on the how, what, when or where. Let’s say you need to have the playroom cleaned up. Offering choices about how could include, “would you like to start … Continue reading How Choices Work in Positive Discipline
Parenting by Dr. Rene 